currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
God, I missed his penis.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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