Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
