Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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