Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
