We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Buhtt sex?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
