i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
