playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
