so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
