he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
