I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
