Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize