Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
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