my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
