so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
