it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
