Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
