it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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