so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
