He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Fuck appropriateness.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
