I just cut my nipple shaving
I just threw up on my dentist
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
