he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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