i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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