Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i barfeds in our rink
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
there is glitter all over my balls
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
