why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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