If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
