Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize