are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
