so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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