So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
nutella sex= disaster
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
