is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He did a backflip because drugs
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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