No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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