i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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