I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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