To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
