i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
