This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
