Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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