6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
