if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
