i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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