I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
