Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
