i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize