scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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