shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
