apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
