I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
