I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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