Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We are two peas in an std pod
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
