so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
