just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
