You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
