naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
