it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
