I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
