Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
