i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
