I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
