i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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