The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize
